My Dad and my sense of self
Sally Anne G-Adams, St Albans, 8.2.21
My Dad died of Covid on Feb 8th, 2021, after bravely fighting for 26 days in hospital. I caught Covid from him and was in an isolation ward in the same building as Dad: I was released a week before he died.
I was too weak to visit him to say goodbye, and could barely speak due to the impact of Covid pneumonia and pleurisy, so phone conversations were brief. I don’t remember much of that time, or the three months after, but my brief flashback memories of that Covid ward, of the suffering I heard, are strong and painful.
That experience, plus losing my Dad to the same disease, caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I want me back. I want to feel safe again. I want to remember what ‘happy’ feels like. I’m determined to get there. I’ve just started trauma therapy & I feel more confident now that I can find peace again. I am forever changed, as we all are, by my family’s experiences with Covid, and I accept that. But I look forward to feeling safe and content again.